Monday, April 27, 2009

What this guy does for junk..

Chicken john just recently raised $1000 for the Swimming Cities of Serenissima junk boat project he is about to join up with in Slovenia. (see earlier posts for more info)

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Derailleurs are looking for a few good women...

It is about to be bikedance season and The Derailleurs are looking to gain 1-3 new dancers.
Do you have the drive and ambition to join our group?

Our qualifications:
1. Able to make practice 1-2 times a week for 2-3 hours each.This is not including shows, which we get a headcount of availability before we commit.
2. Confident to dance. This doesn't mean you have to be a ballerina. Many have started bike dancing without any dance history. You just need to be able to learn and spend extra time remember the sequences if it doesn't come naturally. This means that you aren't afraid to try out new ways of bodily expression.
3. Be a Team Player. The world of dance has many shades to it. The Derailleurs is a DIY group more concentrated on the adventure than the grandeur. While we do like to have amazing dancers join our folds, we would like them to want to be a part of the organizational aspects and the future goals, instead of just showing up to dance. We want you to be fervent about bicycles or dance or both. No primadonnas.
4. Have something to throw on the table. This is very broad, but we are a collective of able women, and we are looking for more collaboration. Do you network, do PR, know lighting, stage manage, sew outfits, spin fire, play on the trapeze, build bikes, jazz dance, capoeria, gymnastics, acrobalancing, etc
We want you to have the ability to bring new ideas or work on existing ones with us.

Does the idea of Bike dancing excite you?
Do you want to join our team and help continue to puch the boundaries of Bicycle Dance?

More info on bike dancing:

Eliza sks Agent Chaos

Friday, April 24, 2009

Slaughterama 2009

Every April Fool's, Richmond VA thrown the most savage mutant bike festival for a week. I have gone every other one since the first one. I was entirely bummed not to go this year because I didn't have a job. Sigh.
I have this faint pink bike tattoo on my wrist from the first event of the first Cycle Slaughterama. Everyone thinks its a stamp. I won it on The Cutthroats team for the 6 pack relay. Awww, memories. The first one took place in a culdesac in Oregon Hill. 100th Monkey Zach dug up his backyard and made a dirt ramp with a volcano fire pit and bleachers and a sky chair. I stayed for a month and the water got shut off the first week I was there. There are so many moments I should write down about my nightingale exploits on the edge of the south.

Slaughterama 6 from Dj Granger on Vimeo.

Cougar Run Photos:

The birthday girl:

**These were all stolen from the lovely Mici Monster's profile.

What do you think

about the new layout?

Holy Cow! Camp Tipsy:

In the last year I have been having soooo many dreams about being on boats. All kinds of boats. Junk boats to yachts. That is why I am so pleased to announce adult summer camp worth planning for:


Co-conspirator of the Swimming Cities Project, Chicken John Rinaldi is adding junk boat tierra firma to the bay area map of radicalness.

Start amassing floatables.
Does anyone feel cutthroat enough to be on my team?

Here is a blog about the event:

photos from Chicken John's

Ancient Archives:

Bicycle-dance section of the Marienthal Workers’ Athletic and Sports Club on the tennis court in the Herrengarten park behind the workers’ Altgebäude boarding-house

Photo 192?, original 8,8 X 12,7 cm

Source: Archives for the History of Sociology in Austria (Graz), Walter Dienstl: Marienthal-Gramatneusiedl picture collection, call number 43/429

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Paris Hilton meets Sprockettes.

Cougar Run Today:

a 40th birthday celebration of Cyclecide's Auggie!
Wednesday April 22nd
El Rio
7-7:45pm-starting point
Bike ride to different stops with surprises along the way.
WEAR: Animal Print or Safari Gear.
The Brakes from Vancouver, B.C. Canada.
The Derailleurs from right here.

The Derailleurs will be performing at 21st and Shotwell, a stop along the way.
Come for the whole ride or show up at the polo courts for the bikedance shows.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bike Polo Tournament Last Sunday:

Time has been going by so slowly and quick all at the same time.
It feels likes ages ago yet it was just a week.

I attended San Francisco's recent Young Blood Inaugural sun. April 12, 2009. I was so excited to see this Greater Cascadia bout! I feel like I might fight someone for the title of number one sfbikepolo fan. I was exposed to bike polo in Portland in the magical year of 2002. That is when many awesome things happened in the Portland bicycle history. This is a tangent, but two thousand two was a year that not only Zoobomb, but Axles of Evil bike polo, Shift to Bikes organization, and C.H.U.N.K. 666 held a Chunkathalon. Midnight Mystery rides. Everything came out of the year of Bike Summer.
Since then, it has been my viewing pleasure to witness many a West Side Invites, Slaughteramas, Dead Baby Downhills, and NACCC's. Also local teams gearing up with the new bully, Seattle giving Portland a run for their money, introducing us to it, I hear.
There has always at least been a MEGA rivalry between Portland and Seattle. Witnessing how my new homefront held up was key. And I was thougoughly impressed. Kim and Laird with precision shots, and Xian with an ungodly left handed lean.
I spent my first five years being a professional fan of Cascadia bike polo. My friend and I lived mere blocks away from the Sunday games, and frequently went over, Sparks in tow, picking up mallets to make fire spinning routines with while we were cheering on the carnage. These days we just sat in the bleachers and discussed the playing like a fine wine tasting mixed with the set of an urban, street-slanged lisp and sudden outbursts of fury/acclaim.
I was cheering on my homie Casey on Team Cascadia because I know he has mastered the snake style. some have come close, but none have harnessed it like he has. He was one of the original Portland bikepolo kids, and you can tell he has been putting in his work.
I found myself cheering for LA's 818 because I have a thing for cholos and they had some fine latinos representing so-cal. Then of course, who I had thought would win, but didn't, was the bikeshopcrewcrew with Xian, Laird, and Kim's team. They had been practicing and scheming. The last few weeks at polo the courts were tense and huddled, with know teams who used to be together, now beefing up their skills as a team to dominate all. I heard so many little whisper circles about playing styles and tendencies. Bike ninjas honing their skills of awareness for tournament.
I had spent the late night hours before the morning's event using a nose hair trimmer to carve lightning bolts into Xian's sideburns. We also gave him a double handlebar. It took three hours and three girls hacking away. Maybe in hindsight he should have rested up instead of entertained four girls wanting to play beauty parlor. Oh well, the ride there was B E A utiful! Sunny spring day, prizes lined up at the bbq stand, shade perfectly fell on the bleachers for the diehard fans and quick outers.

That is why bike polo players don't have numbers. Because everyone wants both teams to win. We're all homies. If you travel more than a state to play one of the bloodiest, underrated extreme sports, then you are family. Kindred Spirit.
That is what I saw on Sunday. Each team took turns cheering for their homies, then their victors.
I am beginning to see certain moves that really help if you can pull them off in polo.
I will keep them secret until I decide I won't ever play. Until then I will keep them for my own future polo exploration.
I had a fabulous turkey burger, donated towards some chilled beers, and helped carry the champion crystal mallets with large feathers and ninja scroll wrapping, to the prize pile. yeah. That sounds important, huh?
I am going to do some self hazing to prove that I am the number one bike polo fan.
Look for wacky stunts incredibly terribly pulled off.
Probably will manifest in cheers and slang for when people score. Idioms, if you will.
If you think of any, let me know.
And tons of stomp claps. After all, this area birthed hyphy. Let's make like gentrifiers and collectivize culture.
Anyway, the gladiators threw their mallets around, rolled out of the impossible, held every whimper back even when the sun was beating down on the sprinting steed legs. Oh it is my most favorite sport. In fact the only one I am truly able to yell uncontrollably or say funny ironic/moronic thing towards. It is sexy as hell. The stop and go, the ball play, the gnarly wipeouts and incredible leans. Oh it is such a turn on. Some ladies have a thing for football players and I thought I was above that. But now I am knee deep in yearning for the sport. No matter who is playing, as long as it plays. It might become like a nervous person and their chill playlist on I tunes. Protective and addicted. I look so excitedly forward to Monday nights where I can watch my new velofam get better and craftier at this sport that has only caught sail in the last few years. And most of that is due to the awesome network of bikers who are always pleasant to be around, no matter where we are from or where we are going. There is a common place that brings us comfortably close to each other, separated by pedals from another saddle.

Check out

Monday, April 13, 2009

Exciting News from the Homefront!

As an Original Gangsta of Zoobomb, I am pleased to inform you that the city of Portland will be holding and inaugural weekend event to induct the new Zoobomb Pyle.
May 29th, 2009 history will unveil a new level of Rad America and The People's Bike Library of Greater Portland will get a new home.
City Commissioner turned Mayor, Sam Adams, has facilitated meetings with the Regional Arts and Culture Committee (RACC) to secure a competent fabricator and a visionary artist as guidance. Zoobomb was awarded a grant to accomplish this task.
This is why Portland rocks so hard. The Zoobomb team sent their voted representatives to meetings, visionary quests, and seances. Throughout this process, the only way to get a proper Zoobomb vote is to go to the hill and have a meeting under the stars. I love the stories that led to the final design. 100th Monkey and I got to attend an initial meeting with a few representatives before we both took off on different adventures elsewhere. There were drawings to pass around and structures to discuss. I felt so civic!
Now nearly 3 years later, we will have an induction weekend including a parade with the old Pyle put on a platform with many people carrying it on foot to the new area, 14th and Burnside on a swell of concrete on a weird angled street. Yipee!! There will be a plaque, a storage vault for helmets and lights, and at the top a bike, a mini, all tricked out Zoobomb style. Oh joy!

Here are some pics:

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Lost Vegas!!

*Can't wait to see the bearskin rug photo!
from Mr. Robert Levy's facebook!

Robin Lehto: Turbo Jam: MAD PEEPS! epic.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Tonight! Lost Vegas @ Cellspace

The deets:
Saturday April 11th
Cell Casino
2050 Bryant St.
@ 18th
9:00 $20 or so, 21 +

The goods:
The ENTIRE proceeds of this event benifit the Swimming Cities of Serrenissima project: junk boats made of rubbish crashing the hoity toity Bieanalle Art Festival in Venice, Italy. A project of impossible scale and impeccable timing. Please attend to have fun and support this amazing project.

Lost Vegas is a dysfunctional casino environment with actual games and live entertainment.
It’s got all the stuff the real Vegas has, only it’s right here…

You can get chips, to gamble on the games.

There’s a wedding chapel with rings, for short duration marriages officiated over by Church of the Subgenius founder Dr.Hal Robins and Ben Burke!

Tango #9 featruing Zoli on the mike and aerialist Mirium on the Trapeze

The Secret Room where they will be filming the movie “The Sexy” starring the Wink and Yoni show, a washed up Hawaiian lounge band.

Mark Growden Trio.

Freaktronic with Sean Kelly and 15 hot dancers in wifebeaters grinding to the Miami sound. Freaktronic is one of the most disturbing things I have ever witnessed.

Jesse Roadkill starts our night with her songs of the road and her unique timber.

Mongolounge. Lounge versions of Devo songs. They have a xylophone.

The Cheese Puffs! Burlesque to Richard Cheese, famous Vegas singer!

Sparkle Motion, the 80’s never danced so Phil Collins. Smoke machine.

Shake Well, Eric McFadden and Robin Commer rock out with his cock out.

Contortion by Tara Quinn.

The Naked Fire Babes!

The Photo Boof will be there!!!!

Hosted by John Hell (doing his famous Vic Double-longo)

Our headlining performer Otto Von Danger will jump the Ramp of Death (again).
Inside CELL SPACE, Otto will jump on a real motorcycle over the Ramp Of Death over 20 NAKED CHICKS!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​!​​

WOW!!!! Hosted by Chicken John

There is also a photo studio where you can get your photo taken on a bearskin rug in front of a fire. These photos are taken on a super fancy camera and the photographer is amazing. If you want to get your photo taken, I suggest you come EARLY! All proceeds go to the boat project.

All gambling is real. You play with chips, that you cash out for valuable prizes like Ritual Coffee and other stuff. This is less spectacle and more action-​​oriented.
​​ You place the bets! You race the roaches! You spill your drink! It's all about you!!!!

The games this year:

Cockroach Racing

The wheel of SMUT

Quantum Dating Game


Human Wheel of Death

Rat Roulette

Craps And much much more!!!!!!

LET IT RIDE: Just like the big boys, you can win big! Big! BIG!!!!

ROCK: To the sounds of Shake Well, Eric McFaddin and Robin Coomer!!!

WEEP: Like a baby as our sharks take all your chips!

MARVEL: Mirium on the Trapeze!

VOW: Rev. Hal or Rev.
Burke will offer short duration marriages!

CROON: Freaktronic will confuse you!

SWOON: The Cheese Puffs will steal your heart!

CASH OUT: Take home a nice prize at the redemption booth!

OOGLE: Sparkle Motion is a leg-​​warm-​​a-​​thon!​​

CRY: Out in disgust at our cockroach racing!

SLUR: Your words, by patronizing our bar!

DRESS: To the nines; Lost Vegas has an un-enforced dress code

Monday, April 6, 2009

This Sat. 11th: Lost Vegas @ Cell Space

photo by Scott Beale/ Laughing Squid

From Chicken John:

photo by Tod Seelie

The idea is to take the junk boats to Venice, to this event called the Beinalle. It’s a super high faluton mosters of rock art thing. If your in the Beinalle, you win. I mean, if the Beinalle curates your work. It’s a festival. It happens twice a year. From what I understand, it has destroyed Venice. Venice is now outnumbered 4 to one with regards to tourists to people who live there. They come from all over, and it’s not the jellato. This festival ignores outsider art. Complelty. We are going to crash it, with out boats and our clown show. Like gangstas. What the fuck are they gonna do? Venice, as a city, is bankrupt. Where there once were beautiful squares there are now giant adverts and billboards for Coke and Cell Phone this or that. The disdain for this festival is growing, and I’m happy to help push.

this photo is by Jag, notice how the junk boats look as compared to a $500,000 sailboat? Interesting... this is by Tap And Zee bridge, Hudson. There are 7 junk boats in total, in that mush.

If they impound our boats, they are embracing a $50,000 garbage liability. I’d like to see the cops arrest clowns in front of all the kids. I mean really, what are they gonna do? We’ll fake some paperwork and start making balloon animals. The boats are in Slovenia, in a container. I was scheduled to go there this week and start building. But there is no money. So I booked a fund raiser. It’s this Saturday, at CELL SPACE. Here is a write up. I’m gonna write more about the boat project this week. It’s a busy week in Chicken Land. Pardon the traffic on the list, please…


photo by Scott Beale

The roach decided to stop right there. These 2 guys are trying to encourage the champion racer to continue. It's a great photo...

The RAMP OF DEATH, which is on FUCKING FIRE!!!! Otto Von Danger jumped this ramp. Sure he did. Yea, prove it.

photo by Scott Beale

Lost Vegas is a dysfunctional casino environment with actual games and live entertainment. It’s got all the stuff the real Vegas has, only it’s right here… but only on Saturday April 11th. You get chips, to gamble on the games. There’s a wedding chapel with rings, for short duration marriages. Tango band. Trapeze arielist. The Secret Room where they will be filming the movie “The Sexy” starring the Wink and Yoni show, a washed up Hawaiian lounge band. There is also a photo studio where you can gets your photo taken on a bearskin rug in front of a fire. A Devo cover band that plays lounge versions of all the hits. The Cheese Puffs, Sparkle Motion, The Naked Fire Babes… the list goes on and on ...

Caution Mike snapped this photo of Ben Burke doing his wedding chapel thing in NYC's Lost Vegas hosted by Madagascar Institute.

The games this year:

Cockroach Racing

The wheel of SMUT

Rat Roulette

Quantum Dating Game


Human Wheel of Death



Short duration marriages (with Dr. Hal and Ben Burke)

Live music

Boy rental

All gambling is real. You play with chips, that you cash out for valuable prizes. Ahem. This is less spectacle and more action-oriented. You place the bets! You race the roaches! You spill your drink! It's all about you!!!!

Our headlining performer Otto Von Danger will jump the Ramp of Death (again).

Inside CELL SPACE, Otto will jump (on a real motorcycle) the Ramp Of Death over 20 NAKED CHICKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOW!!!!